9 Month Companion

28wks

Motherhood was an experience I always knew I was destined for eventually.  Growing a family was something I longed for, but it wasn't a decision I took lightly.  I wanted to wait for the "right time", of course knowing there really isn't ever a good time, it just had to be right for us.  As soon as Kaia’s existence became known, she single-handedly changed my entire life and I was completely, utterly in love with her.  I was so excited about celebrating every moment of pregnancy and I intended to embrace all the changes, as uncomfortable and unpretty as it might be at times.  I knew this might be an ambitious goal but it was my vision and I was nervous but hopeful about what was in store. 

 

I discovered I was pregnant very early, so early it would be many more weeks before I would even feel any symptoms.  Things started off great, but an unfortunate initial visit with a new doctor left me feeling unraveled.  She had a terribly cold beside manner and unnecessarily caused me to worry about the success of my pregnancy.  I understood that the early months are uncertain but I still found her treatment confusing.  I was fragile and needed all the warmth and reassurance I could get but instead this woman left me and my vision shattered.  In an instant, instead of feeling joy and trust in my health, through much of the first trimester I felt emotionally paralyzed, scared of all the unknowns, of all the things I couldn’t see or control.  The task of being a lifeline for this helpless little human felt so daunting.  What if my body failed me?  What if I couldn’t do all the right things to keep the baby healthy?  Pregnancy was just the beginning, I knew that.  Life with a child would continue to change in ways so far beyond what I could anticipate.  But I struggled to shake the fears. 

 

Hearing her strong heartbeat for the first time was music to my ears.  It was the first real comfort and reassurance that our baby was okay and something for me to hang onto.  I moved onto a different, wonderful doctor who ultimately provided me with the care and comfort I needed to more confidently move forward but throughout the entire pregnancy, the fears and insecurities continued to linger and at times without warning, would rear their ugly head causing my anxiety to kick in.  I loved being pregnant and I was overjoyed at the thought that I was carrying a life we created, I wanted so badly to let go and have faith everything would be okay.  The thought that Kaia may be able to feel my discomfort from inside brought feelings of guilt, I didn’t want her to suffer from my inability to cope.  So I started to spend each day committed to finding peace and healing from the inside out, working on freeing my mind.  I surrounded myself with all the things I needed to comfort my heart; exercise, meditation, essential oils, crystals, literature, hypnotherapy.  It was an opportunity to nurture my heart and take the time to think about the kind of woman and mother I wanted to be.  The truth is, I was very fortunate to have a really good pregnancy.  I was healthy from beginning to end and faced no real complications.  I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl who proved to be as strong and feisty on the outside as she was in the womb.

 

Fears and challenges aside, I am still in awe of the entire pregnancy experience.  Hearing her heart beat for the first time, feeling her hiccups as I woke each day and the flutter of her kicks every night as I driffted off to sleep, the sight of my body changing and growing to accommodate her growing body, the comfort of knowing she was protected by my warmth and snuggled up close to my heart.  She was my constant companion for 9 months and I dreamed of the day I would hold her for the first time.  It’s the scariest, most incredible blessing and I would do it all over again. 

Women Who Inspire: Bryana

 
Bryana: Photos and Makeup by Christine Aguiling

Bryana: Photos and Makeup by Christine Aguiling

Too many weeks have passed since my last post… I started 2015 with the goal of writing more often but I will be the first to admit at times I allow life to get in the way of my own expression.  I am also working towards giving myself the time and emotional space to quiet the noise in my own head.  More meditation, more peace.  But more on that in future posts…

 

I last spoke of serendipitous reunions… would you believe it happened twice in Seattle during the same short visit?  Maybe not the same exact spontaneous circumstance, but exciting none the less.  And considering the distances that keep many of us far apart, a reuniting of any sort is such a blessing.  The beautiful Bryana and I planned to visit our hometown at the same time and it was exciting to be able to finally connect in person after so long.  We have known each other for many years with much distance and time between reunions, but as we have evolved it has become clear we are connected by our shared love of active lifestyle and healthy hearts and minds.  As luck would have it, the weather was a little gray, cold and started raining just as we began to shoot but I suppose that is the true essence of the PNW.  And in truth it only helped us capture the surroundings in the rawest form.  I was grateful for the chance to bond with this Cancerian soul sister on that cool, drizzly day over tea.

Bryana
Bryana

Bryana was born and raised in the Pacific North West, and for a time period of time during our childhood we attended the same school.  I’ll always remember seeing this cute little girl, a Hapa just like me who shared the same Winnie Cooper-esque haircut as I.  I think it's only natural that we identify with something that feels familiar, and especially for us multi-cultural kids, I think it's an unspoken connection we share.  Many years came and went and we continued to run into each other in passing, sharing life through shared friendships.  Eventually she traveled to Hawaii for what was intended to be temporary period of time, but the moment she set foot on the beautiful islands, life was never really the same.  The islands took her in and the beauty and spirit of the surroundings embraced her; it was clear it was where she belonged.  Upon first opportunity to return, she did just that and made Oahu her home away from home. 

 

Bryana has always been a devoted athlete, passionate about living an active lifestyle.  As she seized the opportunity to grow new roots, she's taken full advantage of the amazing environment that surrounds her each day and elevated her love of health and active lifestyle to a whole new level.  Rather than nurturing just one passion, she wears many hats in order to fully embrace the life she wants to live.  She is a nurse, personal trainer, athlete and fitness instructor among many other passions.  She has also become a Purium athlete and distributor, adding another layer to her ability to promote wellness from the inside out.  Embodying it all allows the opportunity to commit herself to proactively loving and caring for her mind, body and soul, whether it is through physical activity, spirituality or the fuel she feeds her body -- and encouraging others to do the same.  As we decided on the most ideal environment for our makeup and shoot, she said “I am most myself when I am in the outdoors”, a testament to what moves her.  It is her desire to empower and inspire by being an authentic teacher as well as constant student and she is passionate about connecting with others who seek healing in the most holistic ways possible.

Bryana

Over the years I’ve found myself in complete awe as I’ve watched Bryana’s life unfold.   And from a deeper place, I’ve felt connected to her cause and understood what she was trying to share.  What makes her so special is that while she is undeniably beautiful on the outside, it is her inner beauty and kind heart that moves those around her, and she inspires simply by the way she lives her life and how she treats others.  And that sentiment is really the key to having it all, the hardest thing for us to do in the midst of our stressful chaotic lives; she lives.  She lives through the ebb and flow of life with humility and grace.  Working to accept the ups and downs we inevitably must face to continue to grow and become healthier, stronger beings.  She moves and touches hearts simply by being; by doing the things that make her heart and soul happy.  She inspires us all to get out and show our earth a little love each and every day.  I have been so grateful to be able to see a bit of my own reflection in her. 

Bryana

This beautiful soul has recently taken on a new role, a very special and perhaps the most sacred blessing of them all – mother-to-be.  I can only imagine the incredible ways motherhood will evolve her life path.  My heart is full of love and excitement for her and I cannot wait to see what’s in store.  I eagerly look forward to the day I can finally get myself back to the beautiful islands for a little adventure in nature together.

Bryana

“It is my ultimate goal to empower others to take charge of their health.  I choose to inspire others to lead a healthy lifestyle to heal and help themselves.”

-Bryana

 

 For more information about Bryana’s journey with Purium Health Products:

 Instagram @puriumhealth808

 

Women Who Inspire: Yasmine

 
Yasmine: Photos and Makeup by Christine Aguiling

Yasmine: Photos and Makeup by Christine Aguiling

During my recent travels up the West Coast, I eventually made my way up to my home of origin, Seattle, WA.  Much of my family and friends are still there, but many have left in pursuit of career, adventure and personal exploration.  Yasmine is one of my oldest, most dear friends who did just that.  Due to eventual geographical challenges, regular visits became a bigger challenge for the two of us.  But after two years without seeing each other we realized were both in Seattle at the same time without realizing it, no advance notice - and when we are in the same city at the same time I consider it a serendipitous blessing.  We quickly made plans to meet up for a coffee date in the heart of downtown to do our best to catch up on life in a short window of time.  And as always, it was made clear that no matter how much time passes or where we are in our separate lives, we are always able to pick up where we last left off, sharing as if we were together just yesterday.  It was a stereotypical, chilly, gray day in the city we spent our growing years, but capturing my beautiful friend’s light with a little makeup and photo session was an incredible opportunity, regardless of the weather.

Yasmine
yasmine

Yasmine and I grew up together in the Pacific North West and our history runs deep – complete with humble beginnings, teenage angst, bad wardrobe choices, relationship woes…you name it, we experienced it.  But she always seemed to be able to see outside the bubble we existed in, thinking about what she wanted beyond what was easily attainable.  It was always clear, even in youth, that she was unique, strong-willed, destined for bigger things.  And despite the ever-present temptation to stay where things are comfortable and friendships are fruitful, it didn’t take long for her to realize her potential needed to be met elsewhere. 

In our younger years, she made no secret of her desire to move in the direction of the fashion world – her juvenile fashion design sketches so telling of her talents.  I will always remember the day she called to say she was moving to New York for an incredible career opportunity; one day she was a college graduate, pondering her next steps in life, the next she was moving across the country to make the goals she had long worked towards a reality - and with little to no advance notice.  Despite the fact that I was left feeling completely stunned, trying to absorb the fact that she was leaving so quickly, deep down I knew that moment would come eventually.  And if she was nervous, you wouldn’t have known it – she was ready to seize the day.  Since then she has called multiple incredible cities “home”, stretching herself to experience all she can in order to be sure she where she is meant to be.

Yasmine

So many years have passed yet that phone call remains seared into my memory.  It was such a defining time in life, and so telling of the person Yasmine has always been.  She has since built a career in the world we could only dream about as teenagers, living a lifestyle that is so completely right for her.  But even with the success she has found in the career she has worked so hard for, she cannot be defined by her achievements.  She relentlessly pushes forward towards new goals and aspirations, all the while she remains the humble, kind, down-to-earth person she has always been.  Strong, motivated, she does things on her own terms and she is a woman of her word.  You may not always be able to anticipate her next move, but you can be sure she is moving in the direction of her choosing with wholehearted commitment.  And when she realizes she must move on in search of her next adventure in a new city, she doesn’t hesitate to take the necessary steps to make that change happen. 

There is a special beauty that can be found in a woman who works from the ground up, knows what she wants and goes for it against all odds, knowing that all that can be relied upon is the will and drive found inside ourselves.  In a world where we question the path we must take, the person we must be, the luck we wish we could have - Yasmine is living, breathing proof that you can have a goal or dream and literally reach out and touch it, live it, with hard work and sheer determination.  Knowing that the only way to achieve the things she wanted out of life was to work incredibly hard without compromising who she is as a woman or forgetting where she came from.  I can't count the amount of times I struggled to see beyond the only life I knew, wanting to take the leap I wasn't yet ready to.  But in those moments I was able to find a bit of that adventure, inspiration and strength through her.  I will always be grateful for that.

As the Universe would have it, our serendipitous coffee date in Seattle was happening just as Yasmine was in the midst of another life transition.  I was beyond excited to be able to catch her just as she was on the brink of her next chapter.  As I sat and listened to her speak about her next steps, I couldn’t help but feel the familiar awe I have always felt in her presence.  The admiration, the love, the gratitude I will always feel for our friendship.  The comfort of knowing that regardless of time and distance, this beautiful, dear friend and our special little catch-up dates will always be one of the constants life will allow.  With all the things in life that undeniably must change, I am thankful some things continue to remain the same.  I look forward to seeing where her adventure takes her next.

Women Who Inspire: Kayko

 
Kayko Tamaki : Photos and Makeup by Christine Aguiling

Kayko Tamaki : Photos and Makeup by Christine Aguiling

Recently I traveled back to my beloved West Coast for photography and modeling opportunities, making my way through California and up into the Pacific Northwest.  Much to my delight, Kayko Tamaki and I had the chance to get together during my stay in San Francisco.  It was abnormally warm for fall weather in the Bay Area but we couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day for makeup and a photo session.  We sat for a few hours at a cute cafe in Oakland and exchanged stores of adventures in travel, self-exploration, relationships and love.  Talked of the challenges of leaving home, the discomfort taking risks can cause, and the enlightenment it all can bring. Just 2 little hapa girls sharing life and friendship over lattes and a shared sandwich on a sunny afternoon.  My favorite kind of day.

kaykotamaki
kaykotamaki

Originating from Hawaii and eventually making her home away from home (for the time being) in the Bay Area, Kayko took great leaps leaving her origins in pursuit of exploration; of herself, others and the world.  Even the most seasoned tourist falls under the spell of the special magic Hawaii possesses, making it incredibly difficult for locals to move away from the island.  But it was absolutely necessary for her to leave in order to experience life on her own terms, to see the world with her own eyes.  And she is determined to continue growing and evolving with each new experience.  The beauty of being able to call the islands home is that it won't ever matter where or how far away she roams, she carries with her the island girl essence and spirit that is her core.

 

The epitome of a multifaceted human, she is an incredibly talented painter, performer, photography and videography enthusiast, devoted yogi, traveler… the list goes on.  An artist in the truest sense of the word, turning even the simplest of things into a thought provoking vision.  Having a penchant for world travel, she has even gone on solo adventures in pursuit of exploration in some of the most amazing places in the world.  A spiritual, free spirit, through and through.  With her newest venture, Heart & Soul Hypnotherapies®, she is working towards spreading awareness and educating about the power of healing through hypnotherapy.  Helping us understand how we can gain clarity by accessing our subconscious, connecting our hearts and souls to our minds and bodies and finding peace in the midst of chaos. 

kaykotamaki
kaykotamaki

Considering all the different hats Kayko wears and the amazing, colorful things she embraces in her every day life, she is simply living, breathing the things she loves - and what makes her amazing is that she really cannot be defined.  She doesn’t wear her interests as titles; they are all simply the different layers of who she is and she embodies it all as a whole.  Constantly seeking her own self-acceptance and peace, navigating through the challenges of each day by sharing what she is learning with the vision that we can all share in this growing experience together.  She commits herself to living in and savoring the moment, spreading good vibes and sharing love.  And she does this by humbly exposing her own heart, allowing us all a window into her beautiful soul; with the risk of exposing imperfections, heartache, and all that makes us human.

kaykotamaki

There are few special individuals out there whose presence alone is capable of invoking feeling and emotion simply by being.  They move you to want to fully experience the beauty of this life with every single one of our senses.  They love, they explore, they feel their way through the chaos of our earthly existence and inspire us simply through the way they live.  Kayko is undeniably one of those  humans.  She has a glow about her that draws you in and keeps you warm, makes you feel safe.  Living on different continents for a time being, it was clear we were kindred spirits sharing life through each others eyes from afar.  It's incredible how natural connections are truly organic, the universe bringing people together at just the right time.  I am so very appreciative of her vision and view of the world, as it has been an inspiration to me in so many areas of my life.  And I'm thankful she allowed me to continue improving my craft and express my art through her breathtaking beauty and light.

KaykoWeb-10.jpg

“Our souls are pure and whole but it is our mind and bodies that are wounded and in need of nurturing and love.  If we can allow ourselves the stillness and meditative space that hypnosis guides us into—we can surely find our innate nature of peace and brilliance that we all have within us.”  -Kayko

 

For more information about Kayko's Heart & Soul Hypnotherapies® visit her website

www.heartandsoulhypnotherapies.com

Instagram: @heartandsoulhypnosis @kaykotamaki

 

 

Women Who Inspire

kayko
                                        Kayko Tamaki  :   Christine Aguiling Artistry

                                        Kayko Tamaki : Christine Aguiling Artistry

Let me start by saying I think women are the most beautiful, magical creatures on the planet.  From the curve of the body to the flow of the hair, the female body is an art form in itself and no two are alike.  Each individual amazing in their own way.  Personal opinions and moral beliefs aside, I believe our bodies, head to toe, should be admired and embraced and we shouldn’t be ashamed of who we are. 

 

Like any woman, I am extremely flattered when I feel my looks are appreciated.  But my life hasn't been any easier because of being considered attractive.  Things haven’t just fallen in my lap simply because of someone liking the way I look.  Society has put into place preconceived notions, stereotypes, about what type of person a "beautiful" human is.  And as a result there were different expectations I felt I should fight to meet.  It has long been my commitment to love and be proud of my own body, to fight for my right to express myself the way I choose, while at the same time think beyond my looks and strive to be a quality human being.  A lifetime of blood, sweat and tears, consistency, loyalty, commitment, sacrifice, hard work is what it’s taken to get to where I am today.  I have had my share of heartache and failure as well as success.  My own personal insecurities.  And I still have so much to learn, endless growing to do.  No different than anyone else.  Building and nurturing relationships, compassion, forgiveness, determination, self-acceptance and ultimately, love, has been the core of who I am and how I get things done in life.  With that said, nothing inspires me more than women who is beautiful on the outside, but is also intelligent, ambitious, unafraid to be different and follows her heart in pursuit of her own personal life journey.  Our generation is more overwhelmed than ever with pressure to be the vision of perfection and it would be so easy in this day and age to pursue attention and gratification from simply being attractive.  But the woman who’s a risk taker, unconventional thinker, dreamer, go-getter… that’s what inspires me.

 

Living abroad gave me a chance to quiet the noise that existed in my every day life and really focus on what my motivations were and who to look toward for inspiration.  I found myself identifying with other women, both distant friends and strangers alike, and finding inspiration in not only their striking beauty, but also their commitment to sharing their life authentically through their passions.  They touched a special place in my heart and I felt so moved, quietly wishing to sit and have a cup of coffee with them and talk about life.  I wanted to embrace them and say you are simply amazing.  Not because I believed them to be something I wasn't, but because they inspired me to be a better version of myself.  And during my personal ups and downs in solitude, I looked towards these people for hope, inspiration.  The truth I think we all struggle to accept is that no one is perfect.  We want to believe that there are people out who's lives are just amazing for them every single day.  Like they’ve figured out something the rest of us haven’t.  But that’s simply not true.  It is my belief that we as women have the power to do amazing things when we work together.  We should not only be unafraid to love and appreciate ourselves but also each other.  I'm a firm believer in reaching out and letting another woman know I think she is absolutely breathtaking and an awesome person.  There is so much hate already in the world; instead of shaming each other based on our own insecurities it is my wish that we all work to embrace our differences, root for others doing amazing things and let that be a personal inspiration to want more for ourselves. 

 

In an effort to celebrate and give thanks to all the inspirational women out there, I will be sharing the awe-inspiring friends I have encountered in my life process in a new makeup and photo series.  I am so grateful for what they have done for me as not only my canvases, but also in friendship and I am thankful for their patience as I am still growing and learning myself.  I hope share my art with you through them and to give back to them by sharing a piece of their hearts.  They all have moved and inspired me in ways I hope to express to you all.  Every single one is an imperfect human.  Complete with flaws, imperfections, and insecurities.  What makes them shine isn’t just their outer beauty, but they are strong, ambitious, unique and fearless, they've persevered; looking towards exploring themselves and world beyond their roots and passionately sharing their hearts with humility and honesty.  They are all doing incredible things and contributing to our world.  To me, there isn’t anything more beautiful than that.  

“Women who inspire.”

 

Stay tuned. <3